This pleasant water lily photo of mine has no relevance whatsoever to the post below. I can’t imagine what sort of image would pertain to it, other than a smart phone screen shot, and that’s been done ad infinitum.

My new phone autocorrected the word fart to dart. This new device has much to learn about me.

I can dart about as well I can drive a semi, and if you notice that anything or anyone darts in my writing, know that I was at a loss in choosing an action verb.

I play darts so badly that I could support a small drywall repair business if I made a regular habit of that game.

Life itself has lent me more expertise in farts and farting. I can’t imagine anyone being a better darter than farter. Farts are free from artifice and class. Rather, the attempt to conceal farts speaks of everything but farts themselves.

Can I delete the word dart from my phone’s user dictionary?

Author: Michelle Cole

I am a mom, wife, photographer, blogger and inventory clerk from Lima, Ohio.

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